// The Terror//

The terror of the end, faces me sword unsheathed though my first foe for I to be defeated even before the fight starts. To befallen by my own weakness,to step into the hole of my own self-pities realization, could a more pathetic tale be told. To see it whole all around you a ever fearsome storm yet unable to be moved as if the striking pain of fear took hold of your limbs and fingers prying your eyes open to never ending torment.

The terror of knowing every drop of strength in you is nothing,nothing but a drop of rain in the endless storm. Knowing every bit of your desire full of true good intention left dry in the sand, your own good will choking you away. Knowing every bit of love selfish or not, to always be out of your grasp no matter how hard your weep, no matter how hard you toss your strength with all you have only to topple under your own heavy heavyhearted weight.

The terror of knowing what you truly are as you look at your hands and what they have accomplished, to look at your heart and what you are left to feel, to look deep within your soul and know what is left. Nothing…absolutely nothing but bitter cold, nothing but sadness, nothing but the ashes of wood once your fuel, but now all but yourself to burn away as your fuel. Too feel your determination fade, to feel your strength fall apart, and to walk into an abyss of no return.

The terror when you walk into the honeytrap of hope, forever treading deeper into the darkness. To allow hope as your Mistress, one not so kind to fulfill your hearts longing desire. The cavern full of voices forever echoing to themselves……if only……if only…..please…..please……I hope…………….I hope. Forever lost to the warped illusion of your strength once was held with such pride. Smiles, love, freedom stolen by hope.

Hockey Shooting

Studio shooting

Studio shooting

// Hearts Fool//

        If there ever was a time I was struck with such pain, was when that glint, a blessing itself was left from your love bearing eyes. Too look at me like any  other, to look at me without that smile your scarlet lips pulled me, my soul whole, and stole…my everlasting heart. A look as if you left me too darkness, my own demise created from my own weakness.  If this is a dream, if you were just a dream this is my nightmare a sight to cringe, O what woe is there to be said of this feeling inside me I do abhor. My skin burns, my guts twist and my head pounds with pain of my inner strife, my heart aches. Even as I’m hearts fool until my body is but a dusty ash, the feeling I know that is true above anything else, that even logic would think I’m a fool without hope. It is…the feeling I know I still love you.

// Never Ending//

The truth, the answer of my dreams as I dive into the feeling of envy, of another woman, another man. The feeling of your touch is what I’ve always longed for, the way your eyes looked at me as if I was the only one. The key I once held in my hand the only one, as seconds turned to minutes, minutes to hours, hours to days as I use too smile into your eyes the center of my universe. It will always be my curse, your love…..my forbidden fruit as days become endless, the heavy night only growing darker. You were my answer, but no you are still my answer the one I seek most no matter how many people come after my thoughts dwell on you. Would you reject these feelings say to take them yourself my pain? No, my pain is my own no matter how heavy the burden as I feel the world crumble around me, this pain, this sorrow, these tears, they remind me of my love….remind me of the passion that keeps me alive.

// Sea Of Darkness//

To be in a sea of darkness desensitized of hope, and simply living with the current of unending darkness afar. The horizon bleak of light only living in shades of grey and blackness unaware if you truly are alive. Myths of legends passed down that hints of light may exist in this world, but the thought of hope never crossed his mind. He has traversed in this infinite sea losing all track of time patiently waiting for the end of days.

He continued to travel his endless journey for reasons not of hope, but souls engraftment to the sorrow he’s always sailed. A mind empty of thought looking at the horizon he thought to know all too well, but a spark in the distance ignited quickly and vanished. Questions swarmed his mind with a pressure he’s never felt before wanting to know more its touch, its look, its feel what is light?. He took off with a purpose in his mind something he has never felt before. Cracks surface his stone heart the idea of hope resurfaces to mind for a moment, but a stronger sorrow echoes in the distance.

He closes in on the location where the light had once sparked feelings of uneasiness once again surface. It was as he thought there was no light it was all but an illusion in his mind. When he was about to embrace defeat he saw the darkness fading away from him his eyes open wide taking in light he thought was a façade. Breezes of warmth swept across his skin with a glow of kindness he had never seen before. The light grew stronger, and the man’s heart broken from the life he always knew with a seed of hope eroding away his shell less body full of despair.

He gazed upon her beauty as she descended from the sky with wings of light spread across the horizon. She reached a hand towards him as her presence was overwhelming with warmth. He felt a touch he had not known across him of kindness, of happiness, of hope as tears of joy formed. Her touch was something more then physical but could feel a torch of hope lit inside his soul once again to remember that hope existed.

He reached a hand towards her but a touch unable to feel. Her warm smile brought clarity to the man’s soul but knew the end was near. The light lessens and darkness resurges from the dark corners reclaiming its territory. In that moment the light vanished and she was gone once hope in his heart quickly turned into the greatest sorrow. Cold returns, he feels his skin contracting realizing the weight of sorrow his soul carried with feelings of hope to act as a scale.

The man bore this new sadness with the angel to help strengthen his resolve. His eyes open to the land covered in darkness he set out on a new goal. He looked to the endless grey horizon, and decided then and there to become a sword of light to piece the thick fog of darkness grasping at the souls of many. Ready to bear the weight of many other darkness onto his soul, his strength came from the amount of hope he gained and lost within seconds. His heart knows one day he will see the face of what he loves once more.